coming back full circle

I was reading through my old journal and I found this:

I didn't know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I'd cry for a week. I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full. ~Sylvia Plath,The Bell Jar

"It is a positive and active anguish"-WJ

Update!
I did get a haircut after all. I gathered my courage and opted for the straight cut bangs, but it's pretty much all grown out now. It was also difficult to maintain and made me look very young. It is almost due time for another haircut, but I don't know what to do this time. Maybe I will save it until December.

I've been reading constantly on depression and I've learned so many new things about it that I've never even heard of before. This is surprising to me since I've been studying psychology for 5 years and yet it still has new and exciting things to teach me. I guess grad school is kinda great in that respect.

I've realized that there has been a paradigm shift in research on the neurobiology of depression. I really didn't prescribe to the whole "chemical imbalance" theories and the idea of treating people with a happy pill. Turns out it's much more complicated than that :P

"I kinda have a shoe addiction" "you DO have a shoe addiction"

Some girls love bags. Some love clothes. I love shoes.
Although I do love clothes and bags, I would rather splurge on shoes than anything else. Even though I have feet troubles and they always hurt me...I still love them >< I need to find knockoffs of these chloes >< and these!

Steve Madden Oxfords
But I actually need flats! I've wanted these Marc Jacob mouse flats for forever! The only time I've seen it on sale they didn't have my size T_T
Should I just get them or keep searching for the perfect flat?

I need a haircut

I've been trying to grow my hair long for about a year now. Then I got tired of my side part, especially because I was also growing out my bangs and they got really thick and I didn't know what to do with them. Now I'm tired of my middle part, it kinda makes my face look really long and my forehead really big. So...maybe I'm meant to have bangs! lol
#1. angled bangs

I get to retain my length but I will probably have to invest in a straightening iron because my hair is too wavy :(

#2. Long bangs

These will probably be way too high maintainance but they're soo cute o_o I don't think they'll work, though, because my bangs usually don't grow straight down :(

#3. Side bangs

These bangs look cute but maybe too thick?

#4. Short side bangs with short hair

I've had these for a long time, but I don't think I can part with my length after waiting so long for it to grow!

Ideally, I would want my hair to look like Jane Birkin's...so straight and bangs fall so nicely straight down and looks so effortless o_o sigh....

I think that's a good length to maintain tho :)

I also think that Daria Werbowy looks like a modern Jane Birkin

Punta Cana!!

A lovely collage to sum up the trip...we got bad weather but it was so nice to be away!

OOTD and FOTD! (I always wanted to do it)

Hello,
Back from vacation! well, back a week ago but too lazy to update with pics and I'm still waiting on some pictures to be developed from my underwater camera. In the meantime, I have some outfit and makeup pics. One of my good friends recently got engaged and threw a very fun party at a restaurant/nightclub called the Marlowe. I didn't have as much time as I would've liked to get ready and dressed up for it. I wore a dress from forever21, simple straightened hair with a middle part (my new fave), and silvery eye makeup paired with my everhip lipstick :)
I think I was a little underdressed but everyone else looked lovely.


My FOTD is actually on my little sister on her prom night. I did her hair and makeup in under 2 hours while she complained the whole time that I was putting too much makeup and that her hair was too curled lol...but I still had fun doing it.
I curled her hair with a straightener because she didn't want very tight curls (her hair is only a little past the shoulders). She has naturally voluminous hair so I didn't have to tease or add mousse, just some hairspray to hold the curls. Her makeup look was a simple smokey eye and nude lip.
I used Revlon liquid foundation, Stila powder, UDPP, mac brow shader, coastal scents matte palette and a black/gold sparkly shadow from random metallic palette; Rimmel nude lipstick and la senza nude lipgloss for lips; clinique bronzer and mac blush.

Closeup on her eye makeup--I don't think I overdid it at all.

That's all for now!

Welcome to the real world

...that's what they told us when we graduated highschool but I guess this time it's fer real. Convocation was yesterday and it was bittersweet. The founder of WarChild Canada, Samantha Nutt, received an honorary degree from Western and she gave a very powerful and eye-opening speech. It was kind of depressing at parts because of the reminder that we're graduating into a world of financial collapse, environmental tragedy, and 24 active war-torn countries. The age of irresponsible self-interests is over, although she believes that it is not something to be feared or grieved. She urged us to tackle the many problems that our parent's generations have left behind for us, reverting the damage that they have left on our planet.
"Ask yourself the big questions, "who am I?" and "what do I want to do with my life?". At this crossroads of our lives it's important to not lose sight of those important age-old questions. We all want to live the "good life" but it's so easy to get lost in the daily grind and become short-sighted about our goals in life. After all, as my neuroscience prof once said, "the most important thing you learn from going to university is how to delay gratification and to work towards a higher goal". Even though I have chosen a long and arduous path with graduate school, delaying gratification until my early thirties, I know that ultimately it is the only path that will truly satisfy my intellectual needs and will make me happy.

I had to be at the University at 8:45 am, which meant waking up at 5 am to drive there. I did my makeup in the car lol. Finally some "outfit posts" of me in my graduation regalia!

Honors Bachelor of Science! The outfit is all about the shoes because you can't see anything else. I had huge blisters on my feet by the end of the day >< Good bye Western. It has been a bumpy yet thoroughly satisfying ride.

I'm off on vacation next week to Punta Cana! I've never been to the ocean (nor do I know how to swim...). I can't wait to sip pina coladas, swing on a hammock between palm trees and soak up the sun ^_^

only food

I thought I'd update with some food pics since I haven't been out much lately. But I did read alot...finished reading 1984 after starting it last summer. It was disappointing because the ending was so grim...I was so hopeful for the Brotherhood to exist! I definitely enjoyed Brave New World more because it wasn't as bleak. At least in Brave New World they were trying to create a utopian society where everyone was happy despite not having any freedom. Now I'm reading Love the one you're with by Emily Giffin. I haven't read chick lit in a looong time and this one is not bad. I would say it hits a little too close to home.
Anyways, I recently downloaded a program called Picasa and it has a really cool collage-making feature.

Some food that Mack and I made in the past year. Top left to right: caramel apple cheesecake, maple salmon, pistachio macaron, butternut squash soup with sage croutons, xmas biscotti, tiki masala, veal chops, and vanilla-cinnamon cupcakes.

The makings of my caramel apple cheesecake dessert that I made last week. It was alot of work but was very successful in the end :) The most time consuming part was peeling and cutting the apples. The recipe was found here: http://annies-eats.com/2009/10/26/caramel-apple-cheescake-pie/
That's all for now...hopefully I will have outfit posts on my next post! and maybe I will finally upload my NYC pics.
ttyl xoxo

Science vs. Romance

Hewo, welcome to my blog!
I'm 23 years old and just finished my undergrad in psychology with a physiology major. I'm starting my masters in neuroscience in September at a new school, but I will be closer to home and civilization (Toronto and adequate retail therapy). I will be studying the neural changes that accompany depression using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). There are so many things I want to do before I commit two years of my life immersed in scientist studies. A lot of things that I didn't have time to do during my undergrad--such as creating this blog =)

This blog will chronicle food adventures, OOTDs, FOTDs and anything that makes me happy ^_^ I hope this blog will help me beat laziness. I've gotten in the habit of only dressing up when I'm going out somewhere nice or for a special occassion, or when I see my bf lol--otherwise I wear pjs, don't wear makeup, and I might not even brush my hair. I even stopped dressing up for school. I would wear the plainest clothes I own on repeat everyday because I don't like wearing my nice clothes when I'm not putting all my attention and care into an outfit...if that makes any sense! I blame it on school and lack of time...but I don't want these to be excuses anymore! I want to be one of those people who always look put together and polished. I really believe that putting an effort into how you dress is a reflection on how you approach life...being lazy in your appearance projects a lazy and apathetic attitude!

This school year went very well and I think I finally learned how to effectively manage my time, or at least how to study! Not very useful given that it was my last year, but better late than never! I hope to organize other aspects of my life as well. I really value time and I'm always striving to be productive, so hopefully this blog will help me with my goals.

Warning: You can also expect some emo rants, lists, and random things that inspire me.

And now for a food post to start off my new blog: Curried sweet potato fries with lobster

My bf and I love to cook...we were inspired by an appetizer we had at Milestones and were trying to figure out how to cook it while we were eating it! So here is our impromptu recipe:

2 sweet potatoes
half a stick of butter, melted
spices
boiled lobster
lemon juice

The deep fried fries ready to go in the oven

The spices we used: fennel seeds, coriander seeds, hot curry powder and regular curry powder + about half a stick of butterThat's how much lobster meat we got out of it =\ not worth the effort if you ask me =P

The finished product!Inniskillin ice wine

Mack tasting the yummy fries ^^I burnt my finger frying the fries =( it hurt all night

That's all for my first blog entry! more to come!